maybe one day I'll wake up and feel better//nathan

[sookiestackhouse]

Keeping Sookie’s mind busy wasn’t difficult, what was difficult now was blocking out all the thoughts in the room. Everyone had their own things going on, sure, but the gossip was hard to ignore, partially because it almost always revolved around her lately. She’d brought that on herself, she knew, but it wasn’t like her personal life was anyone’s business, a little hypocritical since she was listening in on people’s thoughts. She just couldn’t block them out tonight.

She had been working since the noon shift, something that usually made her a bit angry, pulling double shifts, but tonight she was thankful for. It got her out of the house and away from anything that would remind her of Bill or Eric or even Alcide. Sam was a bit difficult to ignore but thankfully his thoughts were different than others - mostly being random sounds that Sookie couldn’t make sense of - which made it that much easier to not listen in on him. Her co-workers on the other hand, were not so easy to ignore. Everyone was thinking about either her or their own life or a mixture of both. Wondering where Bill was and why she wasn’t with him, though not always in those nice little words.

“I need the burger deluxe and an order of fries for Andy,” Sookie rested her arms on the sill where the cooks met the waitresses. Lafayette was working despite the fact that he seemed more peculiar than usual. He said something about her looking like crap and Sookie nodded and sighed. She needed a break from this town, but she doubted she was going to get one. Even if she did, where would she go? It wasn’t like there was anything to do to keep her mind occupied. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if she didn’t have to see Jessica almost every time she came into work, but she couldn’t hold anything against the girl. In fact, Sookie liked Jessica. But since the whole thing with Bill, she didn’t know if she was on Jessica’s good side or not.

After taking Andy’s food to him, Sookie untied her little apron that held the notebook and pencil and then headed out the door. “If anyone needs me I’ll be outside. I need some air.” What she needed was to not hear all those voices in her head, but she wasn’t going to announce that to the entire world. It wasn’t that she was ashamed of her gift, not anymore. She’d openly used it to communicate with people and it wasn’t like anyone didn’t think there was something different about her. But she didn’t want to remind them of that fact either.

Outside she sat down under a tree, leaning her back against it and closing her eyes. This wasn’t a good idea. Outside reminded her of everything that had happened because of her. The waitresses that had died because of vampires, well, because of Drew Marshal but he had killed them because of vampires. Sookie still didn’t hold anything against the vampires, though she called Bill and Eric a few not so nice names when they pissed her off, but she would have done that to anyone. She took in a few deep breaths in an attempt to calm herself down and clear her mind. Hopefully she wouldn’t be missed inside.

[Nathan Lennox]

Nathan was feeling particularly restless that day. Though this was not unusual. In the six years he had been in Bon Temps, he had always been tense and restless, though the reason was often uknown, He had no reason to be, he just was. He was currently about a yard away from Merlotte's. He had been there a couple times. His pale blue gaze locked on the bar, his expression blank. A glint of unease sparked behind his gaze. He hated being in crowds, it unnerved him. He feared losing control, though he'd spent a good while trying to control his shifts and how acted when he did shift. It wasn't easy, but he was beginning to gain enough control to be considered safe.

Striding on long legs, he made his way toward Merlotte's.He shoved his hands in the pockets of his faded blue jeans. He was simply glad in a black loose fitted t-shirt. His muscles tightened as he neared the bar. He took a deep breath and stepped inside. There wasn't as many patrons inside as he thought. He glanced around before making his way up to the bar. He casually leaned on the bar and ordered a Jack and coke. He paid and quickly downed the drink. He set the glass down and looked around. He had only wanted a drink, now he was without something to do. His skin began to tingle from anxiety. He growled at himself and left the bar. He leaned against the building beside the door. Outside was deserted and for the most part quiet. That is aside from the music and yelling from inside.

He pushed off the wall and wandered around outside, debating on what to do. He looked around and spotted a blonde by a tree. He tilted his head, his dark golden hair sliding into his eyes. He didn't bother moving it, though it did partially conceal is hard gaze. Slight curiosity stabbed at him and he found himself moving closer to her. It felt as if his legs had a mind of their own. He kept a distance, watching her like he did everyone. He had a habit of studying people, mostly their mannerisms, just to know how they were before they approached. She didn't seem threatening, but he kept his distance. He wasn't one to just approach someone, he'd simply watch from afar. If they approached, then he'd speak.

He watched her through half-lidded eyes, he bore his usual bored expression. It was a lazy day so he figured he'd simply wait and see if she needed assistance. He then noticed her outfit. She had worked at the bar and he assumed she was on her break. She seemed almost troubled and in need of relaxation. He completely understood and looked back inside. He clenched his jaw in thought, then moved back to his spot, watching every little movement around him, trying to entertain himself until something more interesting came along. It would only be a a matter of time in this town.

[/blockquote]

[sookiestackhouse]

Maybe she shouldn’t have come into work today, but lately she had left work early so many times and Sam had said he’d need her to work more to make up for those hours. She couldn’t really blame him - not with the way she treated him. But in her defense he had put on this little charade about liking her and then she’d caught him and Tara practically all over each other in his office. That had been a low blow. And then there was the issue with Bill and then Eric, Alcide. She just couldn’t get her life straight. Everywhere she turned there was something going on and she was usually stuck in the middle. Her and her stupid talent for reading minds. Most days she just wished she was normal. People always said being unique was great but they never really lived it she’d realized. For her, the greatest thing was to just fit in and not be considered a freak.

After a deep breath Sookie stood and was about to make her way inside when she looked up from the ground and saw a man standing alone. That was odd. Not odd in the sense that he was standing out there, but that he was standing out there alone. She forced herself to block out his thoughts, from what she had heard so far he didn’t seem all that threatening and it made communication a little one sided. Besides, she couldn’t get anything from him unless he was thinking it anyway, so what was the point in hearing anything now, unless he had information on Bill or Alcide, or even Eric though she had just been at Fangtasia not too long ago.

Without thinking much of it she began to walk over to him. “A bit lonely out here alone isn’t it?” She offered him a smile, hoping that she hadn’t disturbed him. She probably should have gotten back to work, but she didn’t want to be around all the townspeople who thought she was crazy or Lafayette who was acting like he’d seen ghosts or had just come back out of Eric’s dungeon, and she didn’t want to look Sam or Tara or anyone in the face and admit that Bill had only gotten close to her because he had some mission to do for the queen.

At the same time, she didn’t want to be alone. Her thoughts were almost as bad as everyone else’s. She’d told Eric that she wasn’t going to run back to Bill, but the longer she was alone with herself, the more she missed the vampire who had deluded her into thinking she was important to him. But maybe she was. Eric said that Bill might have cared about her, had some feelings for her. So what if that feeling wasn’t love? Maybe he could love. It also took just about everything inside of her to not run over to Shreveport again though too and spend the night talking to Eric or Pam or anyone who would listen to her. She felt so normal around people who were immune to her telepathy and at the same time, they scared the living daylights out of her.

[Nathan Lennox]

Nathan was intrigued by the girl in aw way, but at the same he could really care less about her. It was not his place to pry into the life of a stranger. Though the girl seemed troubled and that caused his protective instincts to run wild. He kept a calm exterior, his face showing very little emotion and generally appearing bored and disinterested. He had glanced away for the moment, sensing movement amongst the trees. Upon focusing closer he found it only to be a squirrel and let his muscles relax. Though this was only momentary when he felt a prensence close to him. His shoulders rolled back and squared as he maneuvered his body to face her. He watched her and gave a slight smirk in response to her smile.

He looked her over, now seeing her in proper lighting. His frame was still tense and frozen to a point where his body began to ache. He had caught a strange scent from her that made him back off and turn his pale blue eyes to the ground. He pushed the tensity in his mind and body away for the moment and offered a slight nod. He glanced up at her, trying to be friendly, though he found it hard to be social after what had happend to him. "Yeah, but I'm used to it. It comforts me sometimes." He replied in his low, smooth voice.

He had picked up a slightly different drawl from the area, but he still maintained the acute differences brought on by the area where he was born. It amazed him how subtly different Lousiana and Mississippi accents were. It caused a tinge of amusement to push through him and fade just as quickly as it came. He glanced away again, feeling a little awkward, but trying his best to maintain sanity and be the best company he could. He wasn't sure what to say, he had never been one for small talk. He shifted nervously, wandering around to stretch his legs. He could never stay in one place for long. He ended up absently circling her, stopping when he was right beside her, facing the opposite direction.

He glanced over his shoulder at the bar and then back at the woman. He was curious about her, but knew enough not to pry. He looked toward the bar again, feeling an urge to get another drink, but didn't move. He would keep her company if she wanted. He tilted his head, studying her again. He felt a if he had seen her before, but didn't exactly know her. He glanced away from her, looking around and listening in on everything around them. Nathan found comfort in being alone in the silence, simply listening to every little sound around him. Most found it strange, but it relaxed him. He glanced back at the woman, watching her from the corner of his eye, curious to know more about her, but polite enough not o pry.

[/blockquote]

[sookiestackhouse]

As Sookie looked at the man she couldn’t help but realize that she didn’t know him - and someone in her position shouldn’t really be talking to strangers, but that wasn’t what concerned her - if that had been all it was she wouldn’t have given it another thought, she was friendly for the most part unless you started undermining her intelligence. But what caused her to stop and think was the fact that she didn’t recognize him. As far as she knew, they’d never met. And this was Bon Temps! Everyone knew everyone and she always knew everyone’s business whether she wanted to or not. But not now. It made her wonder just how much time she had been spending with Bill and whether it had really been the good idea that she had hoped it was. Stupid Bill Compton - she just couldn’t get her mind off of the vampire. What was odd was that he hadn’t come back to find her since she took away his invitation to her house. Usually he would have at least checked on her. But why did she care? She had Eric for that now. And Sam had to be happier now that Sookie wasn’t seeing the undead war veteran.

“Well then I hope I’m not botherin’ you.” Sookie knew what it was like to want to be alone - heck, she needed the time alone sometimes. She hated hearing people’s thoughts when it was mostly just a bunch of blah. It really only came in handy a few times. Sure, she made a little money off of it here and there from Eric, but she’d also put her life in danger because of that. Of course now Eric’s life was sort of in danger because of her - because he had told her about Bill’s mission.

She watched as he circled her, feeling like a vulture’s prey. It made her automatically stand up straighter and hold her head level as if trying to show that she wasn’t one to be harmed. But she could tell from his thoughts that he wasn’t going to be violent with her, so she shouldn’t have been all that worried. Still, there was something that clung to her insides saying that he was a stranger, at least to her.

“So how long ‘ave you been ‘round Bon Temps? I don’t recall seein’ you come into the bar all that often. Seems as if the whole town comes here now though we kinda wonder why sometimes with all the murders that’ve happened around here but I’m sure you know all about that, huh?” A nervous habit - being a bit too chatty. "Oh, um. I'm Sookie Stackhouse." She extended her hand to shake, feeling a little awkward about it.

[Nathan Lennox]

Nathan moved so he was standing in front of her again. He started to feel a bit awkward, but that's what he got for being less than social. He could be if he wanted to, he just feared himself and didn't like to get too close to anyone. Though over the years he has started to control his shifts, though there was still a tendency to lose control. This wa sonly when someone was in danger that he happend to know. He raised a brow when she tensed up. He wasn't trying to be intimidating and felt no need to harm her, though the scent she carried unnerved him. He wasn't sure what it was, though it was vaguely familiar. He had smelled it once before while wandering at night. It was diluted by other scents, but he knew it was the same.

He frowned, not wanting her to be frightend by him. "I mean you no harm, please relax." He replied, calmly. His accent was thck and caused a slight lull in his voice. Though this was also due to the boredom that tugged at him. He backed off, giving her space. He realized just how close he had got to her and felt bad for it. It was a subconscious reaction to being around others. He hadn't met many people in his time here in Bon Temps. He had made sure not to get too many people involved with him. He almost felt like annoyance sometimes and maybe his fear of himself was a little too dramatic. It's not like he would just shift at any given moment and tear anyone nearby to shreds. He had done to once and would like not to have it happen again. He had trained himself to have better control.

He glanced up at her as she started to ramble, an obvious sign of nervousness. He blinked, confused as to why she felt that way toward him. He had made no move to harm her and had no ill intentions. He then remembered her earlier statement and offered a small smile. "You are not a bother, It's nice to have company every now and then." He replied and laughed softly as she finished her rambling with an introduction. "About six years now. I've been in the bar a few times, but not long enough to socialize, I usually like being by myself. Though like right now I figured I'd try and at least be social. If only just this once." He added, looking down and leaning against the building again.

He looked down at her outstretched hand and took it in a quick handshake. "Pleased to meet you, I'm Nathan Lennox." He added, simply and looked away as a few people stumbled out of the bar. He watched them disappear and looked back at Sookie. It took all his will not to be rude and wrinkle his nose. The scent was diluted greatly, but he could still smell it. He turned his head away, focusing on what was around them again. He felt his body go ridgid but quickly brushed the tense feeling off and relaxed. The last thing he wanted was to cause an argument.

[/blockquote]

[sookiestackhouse]

The man told her he didn’t mean her any harm and then backed away a bit. “I know.” Sookie’s own accent was distinctly from this area - even a human would have been able to tell. “But when you circle me like I’m a food source, well you can’t blame me for being a bit careful, now, can you?” She didn’t relax much; Sam had told her once that he didn’t think she knew how to relax. Maybe she was right. Then again, she had reason to be on edge with everyone hunting her down. She should find a place to stay for a while, a hotel room maybe. But she didn’t know how those worked - could a vampire enter a hotel room if a mortal didn’t invite them in? And why was it that they could enter vampire’s homes and not faes or werewolves or shifters homes? What was a fae anyway. Her, certainly, but what did that mean? She was half tempted to ask if the man had ever met one before, but she doubted it since most supernatural creatures thought the fae had been wiped out by vampires years and years ago.

One side of Sookie’s upper lip pulled up into that look that usually meant she was upset with herself. “You’ve been here six years and I’m just now meetin’ you? Kinda odd.” Now she felt horrible. The man, who had introduced himself as Nathan, had been here so many years and she couldn’t recognize him to save her life. She had been so busy - so consumed in her own life that she hadn’t taken the time to get to know anyone else. On top of that he had been here before she had even met Bill. He had been here before the vampires came out of the coffin. What had she been doing before then? Not a whole lot. Except she had pretty much settled on not dating anyway, maybe that was why she had looked right passed him. Maybe she had even served him before and forced herself to not be interested.

She wasn’t thinking about that long before she was thinking thoughts that weren’t even her own. Oh God, not now. Why did she have to be so out of control lately? She couldn’t focus enough to block anything out and his thoughts were right there, just waiting for her to hear them. She hated when this sort of thing happened. She had no right to be able to get inside of anyone’s head, even if she did use it to her advantage a lot of the time, especially lately now that she had decided not to hide her gift, except from maybe vampires. Even then it was really kind of pointless so she didn’t particularly care. The only reason she did it was because for the most part, it was vampires who wanted to use her.

“I’m sorry, but why do you think I smell funny?” Sookie couldn’t help but ask the question. What was more important to her though, was why she smelled funny to him. She knew that it was probably because she was fae, or had vampire and shifter and even werewolf scent all over her from Bill, Eric, Sam, and Alcide - but how could he tell that? Maybe he’d been doing that vampire blood. That sort of disgusted Sookie - why anyone would drain a vampire to get high was beyond her, though she could think of a few vampires she’d like to stake just for the heck of it.

[Nathan Lennox]

Nathan seemed to have relaxed, but she seemed to be still on edge. Nathan was slightly confused, but understood since he had caught word of what was happening in town. He usually stayed out of it, since he was a simple, naive stray to all the werewolves. He had no place here, yet he remained as if he felt he had some sort of purpose that had yet to show itself. He brushed off the thoughts and watched her, lowering his head in an instinctual sign of respect. He meant her no harm, he was just a bit thrown off by the mix of scents that attacked his senses. He cursed his heightened senses and tried to keep himself down wind. He turned his head, slightly, trying to evade the strange scents. He kept his mind off it as she mention his circling her. He gave a playful smirk and shrugged.

"Terribly sorry about that. It's kind of a force of habit. I tend to study people, it's kind of a subconscious thing, really." He replied, calmly. He kept his head turned, but his gaze remained locked on her. He was still curious as to why she was so on edge. She was just a simple female, though he couldn't tell if she was actually human. She carried several different scents that caused his head to reel and his nasal passage to burn intensely. He could only make out the scent of a human and other werewolves. Though the two other scents were a mystery to him. He felt compelled to pry, but he didn't. He had more manners than that. He raised a brow at her question, slightly thrown off by it. How did she know? Well it might have been obvious since he had wrinkled his nose a few times and shifted almost uncomfortably.

He felt bad for it and kept his head down and avoided her gaze. "Sorry..." He murmured, staring at the ground. He didn't want to seem rude, it was just that one scent that he just cou;dn't place was bothering him. He didn't bother to look up at her and took the position of someone of lower rank under a superior. It seemed almost reflex to him now, there were others that were above him, especially the pack the loomed around these parts. He gave a low sigh and glanced up at her, regaining a sense of confidence. "It's just...you have all these different scents on you. I don't want to say you stink but but it's making my nose burn." He replied, bluntly. He locked his eyes on her again, tilting his head in a curious manner.

"What exactly are you?" He asked, calmly. His gaze remained on her, waiting patiently. He wouldn't blame her if she struck him for being rude, he was used to it. His bluntness often got him into trouble. "The scent of werewolves is kind of obvious since I'm aware of others here, and you smell like a human, but I somehow doubt you are. As for the other two, they're a complete mystery to me." He mused, looking her over. She appeared human, but looks could be very deceiving. He couldn't help but smirk at that. She couldn't be one of his own kind, he would have figured that out by now. She could have been in contact with them, which was highly likely. He intrigued her almost, yet he had a feeling she could also get him into a lot of trouble if he got too close.

It wasn't odd to him that he had been in this town as long as he did and not meet her before tonight. He was a solitary person, he tended to force himself away from social situations. But he did sometimes go into crowded places, like tonight. But he made a point not to make too much contact with someone. He felt as if he should just leave now, but something was holding him back. Was it his burning curiosity, or something inside of him that told him that she meant no harm and could possibly be an ally to him. He wasn't sure what, but he remained planted in his spot, curious and interested as to who this woman was and why he felt compelled to get to know her more. He shocked at himself, he never wanted to get close to anyone, be it friends or otherwise.

He shook it off as mere wimsy and boredom and kept his head turned to avoid the strongest smell. He had smelled it before, but couldn't place what creature it belong to. All he knew was that it was a creature his instincts told him to steer clear from. His curiousity burned brighter, causing him to growl at himself, mentally scolding him to not get involved. He gave another low sigh and ignored his conscious in favor of the girl and the heightened sense of adventure. He figured it be nice to take a risk once and a while. He may be solitary by choice, but that didn't mean he was a weakling. He could very well hold his own if need be.

[/blockquote]

[sookiestackhouse]

After spending most of her time around vampires and werewolves, it was strange that Sookie could still be caught off guard. It felt as though she should be used to this sort of thing now. Hell, her boss was even a shifter and their hostess was a vampire as well. As far as she had heard, they even had a wiccan waitress now, though Sookie hadn’t had the chance to really get herself acquainted with the woman yet. Blame vampire politics for that. But the fact was, Sookie could still be taken back by some things - like this guy coming right out and telling her she smelled different and it made his nose burn. Okay, a bit rude, but she couldn’t exactly hold that against him. She couldn’t smell it, but she was sure she smelled like a mixture of just about every creature this world held.

So this guy was something supernatural, she assumed werewolf since he had used others with that specific term. But she doubted that it was a good idea to let him know exactly what she was. Maybe he worked for Russell. Though Russell was supposed to be taken care of, she found herself doubting that he would be held wherever it was that Eric and Bill had put him. “I guess you smell vampire and shifter on me. Those are the only things I can think of that I’ve been around lately.” That part was true. She didn’t think telling him that he also smelled fae blood was a wise choice.

“I’m mostly human, but I can read minds, so that’s probably the weird smell you’re getting, though I’ve never had complaints about it before. Actually, I get more compliments on it, which I don’t really get.” Sookie’s lips pulled into a forced smile. “So you’re a werewolf? I mean, I only ask because you said others and humans can’t smell werewolves.”

She really didn’t know what else to say - she wasn’t used to being put on the spot by people she didn’t know, people who had no contact (or so it seemed) with anyone who wanted to hurt her. It put her on guard. “You’ll excuse me for being guarded. A lot of people want me dead. And I found that girl in the square so I’m sure someone’s coming after me next.” Sookie leaned up against the outside wall of the bar so she didn’t have to keep looking over her shoulder. It made her more comfortable to know that Sam and Lafayette were just inside.

[Nathan Lennox]

Nathan quickly came to his senses and realized he must have come off as rude. He hadn't meant it, he was just curious and let his mouth and mind get ahead of him. He quickly backed off, turning his head away and keeping it down, respectfully. He quitely cleared his throat and kept his gaze to the ground. He had gotten far too ahead of himself and wasn't watching what he said. He immediately felt bad for his actions. "I'm sorry, I got ahead of myself. Please forgive me. That was rude." He replied, calmly. He kept his eyes on the ground, listening intently. He wrinkled his nose in slight thought. He had smelled that one stronger scent before. It was all over this town.

He nodded, not really believing that that was the only thing unusual about her, but didn't push it. "No, it's just I was bombarded by so many scents and I'm used to pushing people away that I let my temper get the best of me. I didn't mean to come off that way. It's just been a while since I've tried to be friendly toward anyone. It's nice to a little unusual." He replied, quietly. He kept his head down and kicked at the dirt. He then pressed himself against the bar again. He shoved his hands in his pockets and finally forced himself to look up at her. "I don't blame you, having someone out to get you isn't good at all. I understand the hostitlity completely. But I truly am sorry for being so rude." he added, simply.

He shifted his weight to one foot, pushing the other up against the building. He let his shoulders slump forward, slightly. He gave a slight smile and tilted his head, lazily. "Yeah, I'm a werewolf. Though I'm not exactly proud of what I am." He added, looking away again. He sighed and avoided looking at her. He wasn't going to hurt her, he was just used to being solitary and having such a temper. He stayed quiet and looked down at the ground, taking in whatever silence came after. He felt bad for what he did and hoped she'd see that he wasn't there to hurt her, he was just curious and trying to be social for once.

[/blockquote]

[sookiestackhouse]

To be completely fair, if this guy who called himself Nathan had come to her before she had met Bill Compton and her entire life had gotten turned upside down, Sookie probably would have put on her nervous smile and tried to stay out of this guy’s head as much as possible. But recent events had made her suspicious, and she couldn’t help but wonder if Nathan had other reasons for being at Merlotte’s. That wasn’t fair to him and Sookie knew it, but she couldn’t help it anymore.

“Do you run with that pack from Jackson? The one that works for that vampire?” She made her voice sound interested instead of accusing. If she was going to get any truthful answer, she needed to sound like she didn’t detest the vampires who ran around Jackson, Mississippi drinking vampire blood and patrolling the grounds for Russell Edgington, who was supposed to be taken care of according to both Bill and Eric, though she hadn’t known exactly what had happened to him. She’d bet it had something to do with silver. She wished that Eric had just let the damn vampire fry in the sun, but if Godric really had appeared to Eric, like the blond vampire had said…

But Sookie couldn’t think about that right now. She couldn’t get off track by thinking about how much Eric had suffered after losing Godric - how much Eric was still suffering, though the Viking managed to hide it well… for the most part. She wondered just how much of his emotions Eric was keeping from her, then again it wouldn’t surprise her if he was feeling much more than he let on. Sometimes, she thought Eric’s metaphorical heart was as stone cold as his actual one.

Sookie blinked a few times and brought herself back to the present. Nathan’s words caught her off guard, which was surprising given her little mind condition. “What’s so horrible about being a werewolf?” She tilted her head. The question had sort of just come out of her mouth without her even thinking about it. Sam had said something before about werewolves being dirty, vile creatures, but she’d met Alcide and he didn’t seem either of those things. She was almost sure it was just some supernatural prejudice. Eric and Bill didn’t seem to like wolves and the wolf bar she’d gone to, Lou Pines, didn’t seem to hold any wolves that liked vampires (aside from using their blood anyway) either. Sam had also, for a long time, kept what he was a secret though, even from her. How she hadn’t seen that, she didn’t know and that was a little disturbing, but he hadn’t said he didn’t like what he was. Nathan was the only one who’d said that to her… so far.