And this is it || OPEN

[bill compton]

Regret. It was the one thing that had swallowed his soul and settled there for good. He couldn't take that emotion, and the guilt that came with it. He should have never lied to her. He should have never kept something like that from her. Shaking his head slightly now, he remained where he was, sitting upon the front steps of his porch, enjoying the slight breeze that was playing around him. Why he hadn't been able to tell her was beyond him. He always argued that it was to protect her, but how did that really work? She was more angry with him than ever before, and he could feel the hatred in her very core. She might believe she hated him anymore, but he knew it was there. It was in the way that she looked at him and the way she now perceived him. And it was now in the way that she looked at Eric Northman. Bill didn't know what to think when it came to that situation.

On the one hand, Sookie would be happy. Bill wanted nothing more than for her to be happy. It was what she deserved, and if by stepping back and out of the picture completely, that was what she got, then that was what he would do. That was why he hadn't seen her since she had been hurt. No matter how much he wanted to go and pay her a visit, he wouldn't do it. He was separating himself from her, and doing his best to find the one that had hurt her. He would not put himself near her any more. She needed time to figure out what or who she wanted in this life. And him being near to her was certainly not going to help. There was no doubt in his mind that they were finished. He had seen the look in her eyes when Eric was near her in his office. It was as clear as day, and Bill wouldn't judge anyone for that. Of course there had been jealousy at first, but he had nothing to be jealous of now. Sookie and he were not together anymore. She was free to be with who she wanted and he couldn't do a thing about it.

Looking down at his folded hands, he gave a small sigh as that realization once again hit him in the face. He was done. He was done with Sookie forever. He could be friends, maybe, if that was what she wanted. But he honestly thought it would be better for her if he stayed completely away from her. It would make things a lot easier for her, that he knew. He felt the feelings she felt when he was around all of the time. He knew that she thought he was nothing but a monster, and Bill didn't blame her. He had tried his best to explain himself to her. He had been completely honest and open with her, but it had gotten him no where. So he was done trying. There was no point to it anymore. Sighing to himself now, he shook his head and then looked up into the distance. Her house bordered his property, and he didn't know how felt about that anymore. He couldn't really get rid of his own home because it had been with him for ages, but he didn't know if he could be this close to her without wanting to be near her.

Bill would always go to her if she was in trouble, but apparently he wasn't even needed for that anymore. Eric was far faster than him when it came to that sort of thing because of their age difference. The vampire could fly, for goodness sakes. Bill would always go to her though, there was no doubting that. If he couldn't be with her romantically, he would be there for her in any other way that he could be. It would be hard for him, but if she was ever in trouble he would be there in an instant. That was all that he could do for her now. He had his strength back for the most part, even though he was struggling to heal the marks on his face. They were the last of his injuries however, so that he was thankful for. He felt better, and he felt more than capable of taking care of Sookie. And that was when Eric came into his mind. He didn't know what the older vampire had been planning to do, but he wouldn't question it. He found that he just no longer cared. About anything. He wasn't pitying himself at all. He had gotten what he deserved. There was no doubting that now. He just wished he wasn't hated by everyone anymore. It only brought loneliness, which was something he wasn't used to.

[sookiestackhouse]

There were perks to hanging around with vampires, like how quickly their blood worked. Unfortunately, that was also a downside. Sookie was finding that the two lines, convenient and very inconvenient, crossed and blurred frequently in the world of the supernatural. Sure, the blood Eric had given her had allowed her to heal quicker, but it also made Sookie a little uneasy. Her life had turned upside down almost overnight, if overnight was a few days… It felt like overnight anyway. It had all happened so fast, or as fast as human things go. Sookie had learned she was a fairy (still lame), that her blood was sort of addictive for vampires (though the only two who had had her blood seemed to stop quite naturally whether they craved it or not… usually… unless one was starving…), that Sophie-Ann wanted to use her for her blood, that Bill had lied to her and let her almost die in a God-forsaken parking lot, that Bill had stood up to Sophie-Ann, that someone in the fae world had hurt her, and that Eric was now King of Louisiana and the former queen was missing.

Actually, Eric had done something to Sophie-Ann, so Sookie didn’t think she was so much missing as torn to pieces or beheaded, or locked in a coffin encased with silver. Any one of those sounded perfectly fine to the fairy-human hybrid right about now, which was weird because Sookie wasn’t much of a masochist. But she wasn’t going to dwell on that when there were so many other things to worry about; besides, she figured she had all the right in the world to feel a little more relaxed now that there were two people who wanted her dead out of the picture.

Tonight was her night off and she was sort of torn as far as what to do. Sam had all but forced her to stay home, saying he didn’t want her living at work (which she doubted) and that she needed to take some time off. He suggested going to Monroe, which had made Sookie smile. Anything to keep her away from Bill or Eric, or even Alcide though she was sure that if Sam knew about the werewolf he’d approve more of Alcide than either of Sookie’s other two romantic interests. If any of them could be classified as such. Sookie had been staying out of Sam and Tara’s head as much as possible so she didn’t know what was going on between the two. The blonde woman hadn’t seen Alcide lately either, which didn’t break the girl’s heart or anything, but was sort of upsetting. She thought about going to see the werewolf now, but that would take her to Shreveport and she’d probably end up bothering Eric and she figured Eric probably needed time to sort things out. Things had changed a lot for the Viking what with the whole King thing going on and then the time Sookie had stayed in Shreveport with him while she was getting better. To be perfectly honest, she didn’t know what was going on between them; the two got under each others skin so easily but at the same time it was hard for Sookie to stay away.

And then there was Bill. Bill Compton was Sookie’s first… well, practically everything. Her heart literally ached thinking about him, which probably wasn’t healthy and would definitely make Eric angry. Eric would probably also be unhappy with her strange desire… need really… to walk across the cemetery and visit the vampire who had gotten hurt trying to protect her. Not that Eric didn’t protect her, but Bill was just so close. And Sookie needed to make things right between them. She couldn’t be involved with Bill romantically, but she definitely needed him in her life in one way or another… something else that wouldn’t make Eric too ecstatic.

Without thinking more about it, Sookie got dressed in a pair of cut-off shorts and a green t-shirt, slipped on her flip flops (probably not a good idea with the trouble she’d been getting into lately, she should have worn tennis shoes, or something sturdier than sandals anyway), grabbed her bag and left the house. Her hair was down and curled, also slightly wet because she’d just taken a shower, but the air was warm and the slight breeze that blew through the trees didn’t bother her in the least. Sookie smiled, thinking about how much she loved the summer. A few minutes and she was outside Bill’s house, wondering what to do next. She took the steps at a slower pace, trying to think about why the hell she was here, and then knocked on the door. Before, she would have just walked in; she still had Bill’s key, which reminded her she should probably give it back. Then again, she also used the house as a safe space when people were trying to find her, and as far as she knew, Bill rarely left the house as it was. But she didn’t just enter the house, because she wasn’t with Bill anymore, and her conscience told her it was just rude.

[bill compton]

The news of Eric's kingship had traveled quickly, and Bill wasn't sure what to think in all honesty. The blonde vampire was ruthless and heartless, but his soft side came through when he was with Sookie. Bill wasn't an idiot. He noticed that when they were in Eric's office and Sookie had been hurt. Eric had called her sweetheart, and had been there comforting her. That used to be Bill's role, and that bothered him slightly. He just wanted to hold Sookie one last time. He wanted to show her that he was still the caring man he had always been. That hadn't been a lie. That hadn't been an act. He was supposed to bring her to the Queen at first, but that had all changed. Why did she think he continued to get into trouble while he was with her? Because he was being punished for not bringing Sookie in earlier. He should have told her from the start, but he was afraid that she would push him away, which had happened anyway.

Biting his lower lip now, he shook his head. He hadn't made the right decisions when it came to Sookie and the job that he was supposed to complete. He had been impressionable however by Sophie Anne, and he had only wanted to please. He had sworn off humans when he had gone to the Queen, and the task she had for him made him a bit hesitant. He hadn't wanted to do it at first. But she offered him eternal happiness from Lorena, and his selfishness had stepped forward to accept that. Shaking his head now, he sighed softly. He had made a big mistake, and now he would never be able to be with Sookie again. He accepted that, there was no doubt about that. However, it was the hardest thing that he ever had to do. Looking down at his folded hands once more, he felt the soft breeze playing along his face. He just wanted to be able to feel again.

Ever since Sookie had forced him to leave her property, he hadn't been the same. He had been stoic and unchanging in his emotions. He had been emotionless most of the time, and that was exhausting at best. He just didn't have the need or the want to feel anymore, and that was a bit frightening. Sookie had awakened part of him when they were together. He had felt happy and real, and he felt like this life was worth living. Even though he wasn't alive, it was still worth being a part of. Now however, he felt as if there was no point. He was hated by more people than ever before, and that was hard to handle. He knew how Eric and Sookie felt about him, and that was hardest to accept. They were once friends, and now there was nothing between them. It was something Bill hadn't been expecting, and it was hard to go through this life alone. He had Jessica, but the young vampire was angry with him as well, so that was another to add to his hate list. And then there was Sam and Tara, and pretty much every other person in Sookie's life. Bill was having a hard time with all of the hate.

It was then that he became aware of her. Sookie. His head picked up after a moment, and he could tell that she was crossing the cemetery. From where he sat, he was hidden in the shadows of his porch but he figured she would be able to see him. He didn't know what she needed, or why she was venturing over this way, but it confused him. She had wanted nothing to do with him, and he had known that if his explanations hadn't been enough for her than that was it. She was a confusing individual, but Bill believed she was worth everything. She was the best thing to have happened to him in his life, and he had let her slip away. It was his fault, but he was accepting that and the fact that he couldn't and wouldn't be with her ever again. She had Eric now. He needed to get used to that. Sighing, he watched as she walked right past him, not even taking notice of him on the porch steps. Well, he didn't think it would be that bad. Standing up, he made enough noise to alert her to his presence, and he reached the landing of the porch, crossing his arms slightly.

"I'm right here, Sookie."

[sookiestackhouse]

Determination had probably kept her from noticing anything. She was there on a mission, though what that mission was she still had absolutely no idea, except to make things right and give him back the key, if he wanted it. Part of her hoped he wouldn’t since she did use the house sometimes when she thought no one would look for her there, which was more true than ever right now. Sookie hadn’t told anyone about what had gone on between her and Bill, but their minds let her know that they knew something had happened. The silence on her part had been to protect the vampire she once loved, still loved even if it was really wrong for her to. But somehow, wild minds and a need for gossip maybe, the town had deducted that Bill had hurt Sookie in some way. It was there in the thoughts of just about everyone who saw her at the bar. It had started out with mental questions: where was Bill and why wasn’t he with Sookie? Then it moved to speculation: maybe they aren’t together anymore, wonder what happened there.

Or maybe it was because Bill hadn’t been where Sookie expected him to be that had her missing his presence on the porch steps. She was almost positive that he’d be in his living room or talking to Jessica or something. It hadn’t occurred to her that Jessica was probably working tonight. So when Bill spoke up, the blonde jumped and pressed her back against the door to the house. Her heart sped up and she fought to control her breathing now from being scared by the unexpected. “Holy crow, Bill. How long you been sittin’ ... er... standin' there?” Her breaths came out in sharp bursts as she tried to get her body to calm back down. She took a step away from the door and headed to the steps, but stayed at the top of the porch, leaning against the railing. Bill’s house was larger than her own, which was fine because Sookie didn’t need a whole lot of space, but it made her feel smaller to be around something so huge when there was just the two of them there, as far as she knew anyway.

Bill looked healthier than the last time she’d seen him, and much, much better than the time before that when she’d seen him at Merlotte’s. He looked like he was regaining his strength and that made her unbelievably happy. She couldn’t help but smile. Sookie may not have been Bill’s girlfriend anymore, but he was still a part of her life. Even if he’d put her life at risk, he’d also saved her several times. She couldn’t ignore that. Looking at Bill now, she realized she’d been right to come here, if for nothing else than to just check up on her neighbor. She’d deal with whatever Eric threw her way for this and truth be told, she’d probably deserve it. She’d put Eric though just about as much as she put Bill and Sam through and she knew that he’d be feeling her presence so close to Bill - drawback of the blood.

“You’re lookin’ so much better.” She couldn’t help but feel just slightly satisfied that Bill was doing well. Bill was about as close a friend as Sookie had anymore, even if they hadn’t seen each other in a while. She kept her distance though, not wanting to push her luck. For all she knew, Bill could be horribly angry with her. She was sure news had gotten to him about Eric and how he was King, and she was positive that Bill knew Sookie had stayed with Eric while she’d been healing. She also knew that since she’d had Bill’s blood, he’d know exactly how she felt about Eric, which was a tad embarrassing. So it would be perfectly natural, or as natural as the supernatural could get, if Bill was furious with Sookie.

She looked down for a moment. “I had to come and make sure you were doin’ alright. I haven’t seen you since… everything.” She was going to avoid mentioning Eric if at all possible. “I didn’t get a chance to thank you for calling Sam and coming to Shreveport to make sure I was okay.” Sookie bit her bottom lip and looked back up at the vampire. “How are you? I mean, you are healin’ right? And you’re gettin’ out, like we discussed? I haven’t seen you in a while, I thought maybe you were mad at me. You’d be perfectly justified to be mad at me, I would understand…” Sookie’s voice trailed off into a whisper and she looked back down at the porch floor again.